time as an ever-creeping monster
My next post in this series of real life vs. heaven on earth can be described in this set of 4 pictures:
Sometimes, life (like monster Zane) just sneaks up on you.
My woes with Zane are somewhat different than with Annie. I mean, look at him. Even his crazy faces are mellow.
Lately, he's becoming much more self aware of himself. I don't like it. You know the last picture on my Easter post? He didn't approve. He thought he looked silly. He wanted me to "take it off my blog." Even though he has no idea what my "blog" even is.
But he's not allowed to make such requests yet, is he?
He doesn't like being quoted any more either. It makes him uncomfortable. Like we're laughing AT him. I try to tell him he's the light of many of our lives, but he just thinks I'm "trying to change the subject." He doesn't understand, and it hurts his feelings.
Your mom is not supposed to hurt your feelings!
He IS doing better with being part of the family and having responsibilities and all that stuff I was venting about a couple weeks ago. He now clears the table, cleans his room, and TRIES to follow directions (aka not get distracted) consistently. I'm amazed how well token systems work. And how often I forget how well they work.
(Oh he loves boogie boarding. This water was still quite chilly, but he and his buddy just went for it.)
Further, he has his own opinion about what he wants to do with his time. He is often lamenting the fact that "time flies" because it's the end of the day all the sudden and he hasn't done enough of everything he wants to do. This week I suggested a new evening activity hosted by one of the villages. "But mom," he said. "Time already flies by so fast! And I already said 'No thank you.' Isn't that what I'm supposed to do? Plus I mean, the world isn't going to end if I don't learn how to _________ ."
Sigh. He had a good point. We have a very full schedule at the moment. Time does fly.
But he's not supposed to be more right than me yet, is he?
He LOVED catching both crabs and little fish on this trip. Below is a good showing of the lake outlet that allowed for calmer waters and happy children. The kids had an aquarium built by the end of this particular night.
One thing I really liked about the beach was the absence of anything unnatural. The kids just had the elements (okay and all our sand toys and boogie boards), and each day they came up with a new way to pass the hours away. And actually, time didn't seem to "fly" there; it slowed down a bit, in a very good way.
I am afraid for Zane to grow up even more than he has this past year. I don't want him to stop being an unabashedly great friend and good older brother.
I don't want him to stop being awed by simple things.
I definitely don't want him to stop obeying every time I say, "JUMP."
Bottom line: I'm not ready for this big kid stuff. It seems like there's more to mess up in there.